


stay with me ('cause you're all i need)

by lavenderlotion



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Post X-Men: First Class
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:20:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21705112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: “Darwin?” Alex’s voice was nothin’ but a broken thing that scraped outta his throat ‘n made his eyes water
Relationships: Armando Muñoz/Alex Summers
Comments: 9
Kudos: 35
Collections: Secret Mutant Madness 2019





	stay with me ('cause you're all i need)

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [flightinflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightinflame/pseuds/flightinflame) in the [secret_mutant_madness_2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/secret_mutant_madness_2019) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Alex Summers knows that he doesn't get good things. Ever. Darwin's death is just another proof of that.
> 
> Until Darwin comes back, and for the first time, he has hope.

Alex’s chest ached. It always did, these days. More often than not, he felt hollowed out, like someone had reached inside him and scraped him clean, left him with nothin’ but a spot inside a’ himself that should’ve been filled but wasn’t. It didn’t matter what he did to try to fill it, seein’ as nothing ever worked.

‘Sides, it wasn’t like he didn’t  _ know _ what he was missing. Wasn’t like he didn’t know why his chest always felt so empty, or what was supposed to be in there but wasn’t. He’d killed the only thing that had ever belonged inside his heart, ‘course he felt hollow. 

Sometimes, Alex tried to empty the rest a’ himself out too. Sometimes it just all didn’t seem worth it. Not when he’d only ever destroyed things, only ever brought destruction wherever he went. But he knew he had to keep fighting.  _ Someone _ who remembered what had happened, all they had lost, remembered what Shaw had  _ taken _ from them, had to. Sometimes that was the only thing that kept him going, just like when he had been enlisted, pushed back into another fuckin’ war he never wanted to have no part of. 

It kept him going, going all the way back home, going to a shitty little ‘partment in New York ‘n a job makin’ coffees for rich asshats who never wanted to tip him. Kept him going through all the goddamn days he wanted to quit, when it all felt like it wasn’t worth nothing so why the hell should he keep going?

Tonight was one a’ the bad nights, one a’ the nights Alex couldn’t eat cause everything he tried to force down his throat tasted like ash ‘n sorrow. When he looked at his hands and only saw the blood they were stained in. He’d taken so many goddamn lives ‘n fought in more fuckin’ wars than anyone should’a. Tonight, it was all he could see. Tonight, all he could hear were the cries of all the people he’d killed and worse still, the sound of a shocked gasp as everything went to shit, when it all fell apart.

He closed his eyes ‘n saw exactly what he’d expected, that bright,  _ beautiful _ smile crumbling into nothin’ under the force of his power, turning to dust and ash from his outstretched hand. 

Alex always ruined every precious thing he touched. Ballin’ his hands into fists, he closed his eyes n’ wished things were different. Wished he hadn’t killed the only thing he’d ever really loved before he’d even realized what he felt. Wished he hadn’t been so fuckin’ scared a’ himself or been too fuckin’ weak to do something before it was too late, before he was  _ alone. _

But, he was used to bein’ alone, no matter how much he hated it. Alex made a frustrated noise in the back a’ his throat and scrubbed at his eyes. He hated cryin’ more than anything, hated how it made him feel weak ‘n hated  _ that _ it made him feel weak, ‘cause there was nothin’ weak about crying. Fucking hell, but he if wasn’t going to be able to sleep, he might as well tidy up this shit hole. 

Just as he was sittin’ up in bed, he felt the air displace ‘bout his room. He’d always been real aware a’ his surroundings, but it was different now, since he’d been to ‘Nam. Before he even opened his eyes he had a ring a’ power wrapped around his wrist and ready to fire it, but then his eyes cleared ‘n he...

“Darwin?” Alex’s voice was  _ nothin’  _ but a broken thing, scraped outta his throat ‘n made his eyes water. Or maybe his eyes were waterin’ ‘cause he didn’t understand what was before them, didn’t understand what the hell he was lookin’ at, ‘cause he knew he sure as hell wasn’t fuckin’  _ tripping, _ but there was no other explanation for—

“Lex?”  _ Darwin _ asked roughly, his voice just like Alex remembered but had never been able to get right in any a’ his dreams. “Alex what’s...?

Alex got outta his bed the second before Darwin’s legs started to shake, ‘n was there when the taller man fell forward. Darwin’s skin was cool under Alex’s touch, cool enough that it calmed the fire that lived under Alex’s skin ‘n made it feel like he wasn’t gonna burn up for the first time in his whole  _ life.  _ God, how hadn’t he ever realized that Darwin felt so good against his skin?

Probably ‘cause he’d never let himself touch before, not like this. Now, Alex held Darwin real close and breathed him in greedily. Darwin’s skin smelled like home, like somethin’ Alex had been dreaming ‘bout for years but knew he’d never have. Now, maybe...

“Darwin,” Alex’s voice broke again. He cleared it, pressing his shaking fingers to Darwin’s jaw, and felt his smooth skin, not a single trace a’ the stubble he used to sport, not a single trace a’  _ any hair,  _ not even his eyebrows. “D-Darwin is that... _ God—” _

“I don’t...what’s with your hair?” Darwin asked, pullin’ back a little and tugging on a piece a’ hair that was way too long. Alex laughed, tears hot as they streamed down his face and fell off a’ his chin, but he didn’t care, didn’t care about nothin’ but Darwin right in front a’ him and in his arms and, God _,_ _alive_. “Baby, what’s going on?”

And that was  _ new,  _ but the warmth in Alex’s belly, different, calmer,  _ safer _ than his mutation, wasn’t. Here, with Darwin in his arms, Alex couldn’t deny that he looked  _ gorgeous,  _ that he was the most beautiful thing Alex had ever seen, ‘cause he was  _ alive ‘n he was real, _ standin’ before him without a lick a’ clothing like it meant nothing, holding Alex back like he’d missed Alex just a much. 

“I can’t believe you’re back,” Alex choked out, pressing his fingers to Darwin’s nose, feelin’ the bone where his eyebrows should be, brushin’ the skin next to his eyes. 

“I was gone?” Darwin asked, his forehead scrunchin’ up as his hands went iron-tight ‘round Alex’s hips. Alex didn’t mind, didn’t mind one single bit ‘cause it meant Darwin was really there. So he let Darwin’s nails dig tight into his skin and he didn’t move back, didn’t even think of moving back, ‘n looked up into all white eyes ‘n found it easy to read the confusion in them.

“Gone for a long time, ‘Mando,” Alex said shakily, not sure how much he should say. Darwin had always been real good at goin’ with the flow, at  _ adapatin’, _ but this might be a little much. Alex took a deep breath, and his voice break when he said, “Been nearly ten years without you.”

‘Cause that was how Alex saw time. Before Darwin ‘n after Darwin. Before he never would’a thought he’d find love, ‘n that after he’d found it just to lose it right after. But now...Darwin was back, ‘n he was more gorgeous than  _ ever, _ and the empty pit in Alex’s chest was fillin’ and fillin’ and fillin’ until he felt like he would spill over with love. 

“Oh, baby,” Darwin said real softly, his hands movin’ from Alex’s hips to rest on his back and pull him in the rest of the way. Alex figured that if this had happened back in ‘62, he probably would a’ clocked Darwin for touchin’ him. Now he just pressed closer, took a moment to rest his forehead ‘gainst Dariwn’s jaw ‘n breath him in. 

“You’re really back?” Alex asked quietly, not able to mask the fear in his voice ‘n not carin’. Darwin was still rubbin’ his back and holdin’ him real close, so Alex thought he probably felt the same, had felt the same all those years ago when they’d grown so close quick. 

“Seems like it, sweetheart. Sorry it took me so long to adapt this time, but your plasma packs quite the punch. Took my body a bit of time to get it all sorted out, but I bet I’m good as invincible now,” a broken sob bubbled out of Alex’s throat at the reminder that it was  _ Alex’s fault, that he’d killed him, that— _

Darwin’s fingers were cool on his jaw, and he lifted his head as Darwin raised them. When he looked into his eyes, they seemed to glow. “Don’t you dare go blaming yourself for none of that, you hear me Alex? I’m back, alright? I came back for  _ you,  _ and I gotta say, long hair and all, you’re still my hotshot,” Darwin muttered with a hoarse voice and the same, flirtatious grin that used to drive Alex wild. “Awh c’mon sweetheart, don’t cry now. I’m back, baby.”

Darwin’s voice was sweet ‘nough that he nodded. He focused on the blessedly cool hand that moved from his face to slip under his shirt an’ rubbed up ‘n down his back. Alex couldn’t stop himself from kissin’ him one more  _ second.  _

Then, he didn’t  _ stop _ kissin’ him, for a real long time. 

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are much appreciated!


End file.
